The haunt of my dreams

I used to have this friend. I would be there for her when things go wrong. Or tell her that everything will be OK, and that i'll take care of everything for her. She's the one i look forward to meeting everyday. She and I would have great conversations. Ones that are just sweet, bitter when u try to remember them. She was one heckova friend, for whatever i did for her, she did back for me. She just fit in when I needed a friend badly, and thats probably why I was so... consumed.. I can't really express my thanks for all she's done. The only way i could thank her is by continueing to be there for her, you know, to be her friend - but shit happened.

Now i'll never get to say thanks, or sorry, or even hello and a goodbye. I'll never get to tell her the things i hid from her, when she was just trying to get me to tell her. Thats the one thing I ever regretted, not doing what I was supposed to do. And thats probably the one thing i'll never learn - or will i? I've been slipping by that same mistake for so long now, and its the same one all the time. How long does it take to knock myself in my stupid head?

I need to learn from my mistakes. I suppose, we all have our regrets. Mistakes that we did. Things we just wished we didn't do. Moments when we say 'now why did i do that for?'. But there ain't a thing we can do to correct the present. We can just search back in our past, find ourselves there, and then fix it so that we continue to be better people in the future. Well, its hard. No one said it would be easy, and i just wish i had a friend to guide me along the way. The friend i lost.

But now i see, that if i don't do anything about it soon, i'll be losing all my friends. And soon i'll be all alone. Its time to get up. Friend or without friend.