Moved

Moved to www.xanga.com/dudugoh. Explanation and everything else is there. See you there!

Dudu

If things could have been different then

Suddenly I just thought,
That I needed you to know,
I would have asked you,
If I could relive 1 year ago.

Sometimes I just wonder,
How things would be like,
If I had asked & you said yes,
Wouldn't you think I was blessed?

How was I to know,
You meant so much to me,
Until it was too late,
Only then I began to see.

I just wanted you to know,
That if things could have been different,
I would have given my heart to you,
To let you know you mean more than the world to me,
And I'm ashamed to have let you go.

But you don't know that

You looked my way and gave me a smile,
A simple smile I'd never forget,
It pains my heart, yet it makes me smile,
It almost kills, but you don't know that.

Just that smile, that simple smile,
So simple to look at, yet it rips me apart,
It left me in pain, lost walking for miles,
A bittersweet sting that pierces my heart.

I don't know what feelings reside in your heart,
Once, i felt sure, I lost you from the start,
But then you looked my way and gave me a smile,
Your actions leave me dazed, stranded, almost exile.

I've lost, I'm stripped of my once proud honor,
You're filling me with feelings I can never forget,
You've left me in love, deep down in my heart,
In love with you, but you don't know that.

-Dudu-
7th May 2007

And yet another year has passed

The clock is ticking,
& my brain is thinking,
Its about to be a year now,
since I used to write about you.

I used to call you my glass of coke,
Just what I need on a hot sunny day,
I used to call you my teddy bear,
That would sit and listen and make me smile.

I would do anything,
anything to make you smile,
anything to make you talk,
anything to make you love me.

& as I think back a year ago,
Those sweet memories, yet so short,
they come back and lay a tear on my eye,
knowing I lost a wonderful chance,
but gained a friend to keep instead.

Elmo's Pride

Video of Goo Goo Dolls singin a song bout elmo. Modified their lyrics from their song 'Slide' to 'Elmo's Pride'

Haha. Lately i've been finding myself listening to goo goo dolls, good charlotte, sum 41, The All American Rejects and elmo's song. Sudden obsession? haha.. I would want an elmo for my birthday. Red - ftw. This week is exam week. All is boring but slowgoing and easy. Can't wait for friday, holiday gonna start and i'll be all over the place again. Until then, catcha guys later. enjoy d vid.

The ultimately long post

Its been more than a month since i posted! Haha i apologize oh so dearly, my readers. Just been pretty busy with lots of school work recently, esp my Sunway U. College Youth Leadership Programme Miss Yeow got us into, I've basically been spending the last 3 days before the due date rushing the proposal during school hours.

Managed to get my hands into alot of trouble this year. Now they're all tied up and i've barely got any breathing space. That includes English Society work, the Sunway U. College programme i mentioned, and the CRAPLOAD stack of homework my teachers seems to just vomit out on us. Hmm, allow me to elaborate.

I've planned a 4 month long assignment for the English Society this year - that is, a drama competition. I split the English Soc. into 4 groups, and made them do a free drama, 10 minutes long, and must include comedy. In english of course. I've also provided a cash prize of Rm250 to the winning group of this competition. :) Seemed like a nice idea at the start. Now all i've got are teams that are redundant to move their asses on this drama assignment. What if the event fails infront of the entire school watching this competition?

Miss Yeow told us about an essay writing competition some 1 month ago (i think). I mean, she really told us like as though it was just an essay writing competition. So we joined, an attended a workshop. It turned out to be something COMPLETELY different. We had to run a group project to enrich the community around us. We had to write our project proposals, and then we'd be given RM250 to run the project. The prize of this competition is a scholarship to study at Sunway U. College. That got us into a whole lotta problems. But long story made short, we've done the proposal (last minute of course) and its out of the way.

Finally the homework. This year seems to be somewhat an entirely DIFFERENT year from the previous ones. The teachers are just ever so willing to offer us homework. And the subjects are much harder to grasp too. I must admit im failing badly in my studies right now. Can't just take the easy way out of studies this year like how i've normally done so last year. Friends have been telling me if I don't do something about it soon i'll be in big trouble. Guess they're right. I've got to do something about it or i'll be kissing my freedom this year goodbye.

Finally, besides all that mind boggling rubbish, i've got the stuff every other teenager has, personal problems and whatnot. They all add up to an already overspilling jar of stress. Thats that. March exams are next week, and i've really got to NOT FAIL for anything this time. God help me. Give me time, i'll get this all over and done with.

-Dudu-

Happy Birthday Buddy!

a picture of cindy drinking water during the 2002 US trip.

Hey hey hey!! Today is my special sister's birthday! Happy birthday buddy! You're growing olddddd! come back soon to malaysia yea? Thats a picture of her (above) during the US trip. ehhehe..

Anyway I caught the flu bug just recently. Nose has been leaking like nobody's business though I haven't taken any medicine. Actually i don't see a cause to take medicine when you're having flu, since theres no cure for flu. What good will medicine do?

Im still thinking, and thinking, of what I should do for the English Society this year. My friends and family gave me plenty of suggestions like having the society to come up and speak in public every week and drama competitions. I still don't know how to make them happen, or whether or not i will recieve the participation i need. Yet, i wanna do something special for the English Society this year, something that would make them stand out. If you guys have any suggestions, please post them somewhere. Many thanks in advance =)

Anyway, thats about it for this post, will post again when i have something more interesting to post about. Until then, Happy birthday again buddy!

-dudu-

Unsaid things

When I first gazed into your eyes,
It colored my world with Summer skies;
And the air was filled with lovebird cries,
It struck my heart, that I couldn’t lie.

Your smile was as bright as the Summer light,
And my day would bloom with just you in sight;
Starting from day and lasting all night,
I keep your smile to cheer me inside.

But I held my feelings back in a shell,
For your heart was taken by somebody else;
Maybe next summer I’ll have my chance as well,
But now all I can do is bid farewell.

-written by dudu-

(10.34pm) 9th Jan 2007

Hypnotised

School has reopened! I re-enter school with a mixed bag of emotions really. There are some stuff im looking forward to and some im simply not ready for yet. Nonetheless, im left with no choice ey?

I start off my 1st day of school with yet another form to fill up, to redecide which subjects I would be taking. Decided that im going into Pure Science and taking up Biology. My friends, Dom, Chun Chiar and Daniel are heading to Sub Science, though. They basically don't want to study Biology. At least Denise is coming to Pure Science with me. She makes up the noise of at least 3 people. I wouldn't be very bored in class =)

Shared and bought 4 presents for Nicole Kow, Wan Qien, Sinn Yi and Chui San. (though Chui San hasn't recieved her present yet so I will not mention anymore about it until I do). Then i bought a pair of pink colored baby socks for Lynn. =D. She got me a shirt from Thailand =D. Thank you so much for the shirt. Like it alot. Oh and Wan Qien gave me a christmas candy cane in return. Yum, I wouldn't eat it, though.

Well thats that for now. Nothing much to post about. Will post again when I find more things to post about. Bye!

Funny Maxis joke

Picked this up from the Friendster Bulletin. Pretty funny. Lol

This is a true story of a young college
gurl who past away last month, at
shah alam. her name is Priya.she was
hit by a lorry.

i dont wanna mention the name of the
college. She have a boy friend named
Shankar. he stays in johor. both of
them are true lovers. they always hang
on the phone. u can never see her
without her handphone.

she spends 3/4 of the day talking with
shankar. both of them used maxis.
Priya's family knows about their
relationship. Shankar is very close
with Priya's family. (just imagine
their love)

Before she passed away she always told
her frens

"If I pass away please burn me with my
handphone"

she also said the same thing to her
parents.

after her death, ppl cant carry her
coffin. i was there. a lot of them
tried to do so but still cant.
everybody including me, had tried to
carry the coffin, the result is still
the same.

Eventually, they called their
neighbour, a "bomoh" from thailand
(pak Darin), who is a fren of her
father. he took a sit and started
speaking to himself slowly. after a few
minutes, he said

"this gurl misses something here".

then her frens told Darin bout her
intentions to burn her with her phone.
He then opened the coffin and place
her phone and SIM card inside the
casket. after that they tried to carry
the coffin. it could be moved and they
carried it into the van easily. all of
us were shocked. (can u feel the fear.
i'm shaking at this moment)

Priya's parents didnt inform Shankar
that Priya had passed away.
(pity Shankar). after 2 weeks Shankar
called Priya's mom.

Shankar :...."Atte, I'm coming home
2day. cook something nice for me.
dont tell Priya that i'm coming home
2day. i wanna suprise her."

her mother replied....."u come home
first, i wanna tell u something
very important."

after he came to shah alam, they told
him the truth about Priya. Shankar
thinks that they were playing a fool.
he was laughing and said
"dont try to fool me. tell Priya to
come out. i have a gift for her. pls
stop this nonsense".

then they show him the original death
certificate to him. they gave him
proof to make him believe.(Shankar
started to sweat)

he said... "its not true. we were spoke
yesterday. she still calls me.

Shankar was shaking. suddenly,
shnakar's phone rang.

"see this is from Priya. see this..."

he showed the phone to priya's family.
all of them told him to answer.he
talked using the loudspeaker mode. all
of them heard his conversation
loud and clear. no cross lines, no
humming. it is the actual voice of
Priya & there is no way others could
use her simcard since it is nailed
inside the coffin

they were so shocked and asked for pak
darin's help again. pak darin
brought his master (Tok Chen) to solve
this matter. he & Darin worked
for 5 hours. then they discovered one
thing...

Tok Chen was sweating. His face was
red .

"i just cant believe this. It's quite
amazing" he said. " I didn't think that
this could actually
happen. Unbelievable!

Oh My God!
Maxis is the best line,ever.
We can still keep in touch even
when we're dead!! Talk about
coverage!!! Best coverage ever!!!
where can i get the SIMpack?"

Moral of the story:
Maxis de best lar .........

Authority

Haha. Ignore the title. Anyway, I dont have much to update about. Since there hasnt been many new things going on. Oh to all readers, before i forget, let me wish you Merry Christmas! Ok. I shall blog about my sister's now 1 month+ old baby, Matthew.

One word: cute.

Matthew has finally gone home now. He used to stay with us with my parents so that my mother can teach my sister how to take care of the baby. Now, after 1 month of training, my sister is ready to take care of Matthew by herself at her own home.
Btw, he seems to like the Mashimaro that Sharon gave me before she left to Florida. We would hang it by the side and he would stare at it and try to reach for it. Sometimes he even makes small cute baby sounds at it. Haha. Well at 1st i was redundant to give mashimaro because i liked it so much but the baby would have a much better use for it than a 15 year old kid =/. haha. kid.

And he just stares at mashimaro!

He still screams really loud, just like before. But now he spends more hours awake and slightly less asleep. Its harder to put him to sleep now and he's wanting more and more attention by the minute! Haha. Oh and i finally held the baby in my hands like a few days ago. Surprisingly baby didnt cry, baby didnt moan. Baby just behaved like a baby. Haha. Glad with myself that Uncle Dudu can hold Matthew.

Lol this is a funny picture. Still as precious as ever!

Haha! well i'll continue to feed you more progress about matthew. Stay tuned! Hope the pictures kept your hearts tickled!

-dudu-!

How long has it been since....

The Story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks. She went for a walk in the forest. Pretty soon, she came upon a house. She knocked and, when no one answered, she walked right in.

At the table in the kitchen, there were three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks was hungry. She tasted the porridge from the first bowl.

"This porridge is too hot!" she exclaimed.

So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.

"This porridge is too cold," she said

So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge.

"Ahhh, this porridge is just right," she said happily and she ate it all up.

After she'd eaten the three bears' breakfasts she decided she was feeling a little tired. So, she walked into the living room where she saw three chairs. Goldilocks sat in the first chair to rest her feet.

"This chair is too big!" she exclaimed.

So she sat in the second chair.

"This chair is too big, too!" she whined.

So she tried the last and smallest chair.

"Ahhh, this chair is just right," she sighed. But just as she settled down into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces!

Goldilocks was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to the bedroom. She lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then she lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then she lay down in the third bed and it was just right. Goldilocks fell asleep.

As she was sleeping, the three bears came home.

"Someone's been eating my porridge," growled the Papa bear.

"Someone's been eating my porridge," said the Mama bear.

"Someone's been eating my porridge and they ate it all up!" cried the Baby bear.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair," growled the Papa bear.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair," said the Mama bear.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair and they've broken it all to pieces," cried the Baby bear.

They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, Papa bear growled, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed,"

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too" said the Mama bear

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed and she's still there!" exclaimed Baby bear.

Just then, Goldilocks woke up and saw the three bears. She screamed, "Help!" And she jumped up and ran out of the room. Goldilocks ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the forest. And she never returned to the home of the three bears.

THE END

Hehe... just came by the topic with Lynn. Decided to re-read the story. Now yall can read it too! Whee!

The day you went away

Eeeh so heres an update for whoever thats reading. =) Just figured it would be nice to let yall read somethin instead of nothin.

I shall take the opportunity to recap all the interesting things that has occured throughout the year, so i will make a list.
1) I got elected as the school's sound system's ketua.
2) I skipped classes less than last year =)
3) I begin to buy ice creams from school.
4) I then moved on to baskin robbins, occasionaly.
5) Then I bought ice cream from baskin robbins and walked away without paying.
6) I didn't get caught.
7) I took a bus all by myself.
8) I took a taxi all by myself.
9) I took a taxi and didn't pay for the ride.
10) I got away with that as well.
11) I set for PMR.
12) I... cried.
13) I had a fishbone stuck at my throat and I could see it sticking out from my throat when I looked at myself at the mirror.
14) I had a pair of mini-thong 'kiap-kiap' thingy inserted into my mouth to pull out the fishbone.
15) I called lynn at 7am in the morning to wake her up.
16) I now call her almost every morning at 7 to wake her up.
17) I got a job!
18) I tried latte, cuppocino and ice blended coffee.
19) I saw hot girls in Italianese at 1am in the morning wearing very short miniskirts =)
20) I cycled to The Curve from centrepoint.
21) My sister gave birth to a baby boy.

There. That was fun. haha. Oh well thats about it. Until my next post!

-dudu-

Meet Mr.Matthew Shawn Lim

Hey guys meet my nephew Matthew Shawn Lim! My sister's baby boy. He's turning 1 month old in 3 days time. hehehe. Heres some pics! Haha he's really fragile and i don't really dare to hold him in my arms yet. Mind you, he's really loud too. Like a modified army alarm clock! He just goes WEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! and everyone just wakes up. haha. More pics >>

*im an aeeroooplaaane*

Thats Matthew's proud daddy, Mike.


And his mommy, Elaine.

Haha, i'll post more pictures when blogger isn't hungry and un-energetic. Uploading a picture seems to take ages at the moment. Until then, enjoy the pics!

-dudu-

Beaches....

You gave me a small taste of you,
& now you leave me wanting more.

I spend time thinking and regretting,
of how I let something slip pass,
and how I could have brought it with me to the present.

You leave me;
Thoughtful in the day,
Distracted during work,
Frustrated afterwards,
& restless in the night,

You're dangerous. That I will say.

er whoops.... last day of work? =/

Right, so I was supposed to update about my 1st day of work.... but, I didn't? :P

Well, just to let you guys know, i've resigned at o'briens after 3 weeks working there. I earned RM700+ from them and got aLOT of experience too (working in the F&B sector). Anyway, since i didnt update you guys RIGHT AFTER my 1st day, I'll just cover the entire working experience here! =)

Hmm, so working @ O'briens is really a crazy ass job. I remember just doing all sortsa things on my 1st day. Like washing dishes, then preparing some cold food, then learning how to use the juice machine, and then i was wiping tables. Then before I could become good at all those stuff, I was learning how to make sandwiches on my 2nd day. x( Working in O'briens is really tiring. You do all the jobs there are in 1 single day. Just doing whatever that needs to be done. Eg; preparing a sandwich when a customer is here, then preparing items after that, then washing the dishes 20 minutes later.

Well I spent my 1st few days in the kitchen just washing dishes, drying them and bringing them out, since I couldnt do anything else at the bar yet. Its basically just washing a sink-full of dishes with soap, then placing them in the dishwasher, and drying them with a cloth. Really, the 1st few days were just labour. However once the weekends were over, my manager eventually taught me how to handle the juice machine and how to make sandwiches at the bar too. However that wasn't a sign of relief at all. Making sandwiches and juices isn't really a cool-calm job.

Well making the sandwiches on your 1st and 2nd week is really stressful. Though it may sound really simple (a tripple decker consists of 9-10 ingredients including toasting the bread and spreading the butter), but really, its not that easy once ure holding the butter knife making your customer's sandwiches. You're supposed to make a single sandwich order in 3 minutes. I made my 1st sandwich in 6. =)
- Well my seniors told me it takes about 2-3 weeks before finally being able to make a sandwich fast and yummy-ly in 3 minutes.

Then theres the juice machine. Well handling the juice machine is really simple. Yes you just cut whatever fruits you need to cut to make your juice, then just put them in this biggish machine and *graaaaanngggggggg* away. Oh yes really simple. Until you finish making about 1 or 2 drinks, then the machine starts to get REALLY loud. When that happens, you have to open up the machine (mind you the machine is NOT a small hand blender, the cover is pretty heavy and the machine is as big as your waist up to your head), and dig up all the fruit waste from inside. Its a HUGE problem especially if you're asked to make juice on a busy day like a friday or a saturday. You have like 3-5 juices que-ed up in 1 go and you gotta stop after your 1st carrot juice to dig up the stuff. And once you're done with 5 another order kicks in. Eventually everybody says you're slow and pushes you to go faster.

Well besides the main jobs, theres the daily jobs we have to do, like morning slicing preparations and afternoon cold cuts. In the mornings we slice vege-items like tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, peppers and that such. Its really an OK job, except for the part where you gotta handle the slicing machine. Let me describe the slicing machine. Its just like a miniature timber cutter. If you don't know what that looks like, well imagine a blade shaped like a disc, placed behind a flatish surface, so you place your item before the blade, and push it forward so the blade slices the item. You do it over and over again until its sliced into pieces. All the seniors said they've had their fingers accidently sliced by the machine before. Well, myself, i've cut my finger while I was cleaning the machine once. Small but deep cut.
-By the way, preparing the onions are a pain for the eyes : (
Afternoon cold cuts are basically the same, just that you have to slice turkey ham and cheese (which gets really messy and sticky) instead of tomatoes and cucumbers.

Then there's restocking, garbage disposal etc etc. Just the normal shit. And that about covers all of my job. The people there are really nice though. So if you're looking for a good place to work? Well O'Briens is definately a good starting job. Gives you aLOT of 1st hand experience, and the pay is fine too. However it's only good for working part time, and should never be taken as a job in your life time career. If you failed your SPM and have no where to go, trust me, Next door TGIF would be better than O'Briens.

Well thats about it. Until then, heres just a picture of me at home in my uniform. Catcha guys later!


-Dudu-

Ah! 1st day of work!

Yo guys!! Tomorrow is gonna be my 1st day of work!! Woot! wearing black pants, and black working shoes. Man this is gonna be cool. Tho i AM feeling abit nervous.. haha.. i'll let u guys know how it is when im thru with tomorrow. So i'll update tomorrow. wish me luck! ciao!

-dudu-

Hired! =)

Heyyy guysss!! I just got a job!! So I thought I should get a job for my holidays. You know, some extra pocket money wouldn't hurt. So on Sunday I went to 1u in search of a job. Walked around for about 8 hours, walked in to AT LEAST 15 shops, and managed to only apply for 3 jobs. The others turned me down upon asking either because they were already full OR i'm underaged. Managed to sign up for McD, GSC and A&W in 1u.

Then on monday after school I headed to the curve to find more jobs! Walked around but there weren't many vacancies around. The food stalls there were in dire need of extra man power, but sighed & turned me down when they found out i was 15. So i was about to leave to 1u, and see if i missed out any jobs there, when SUDDENLY, from behind that escalator encased in glass, i saw, what was endazzling to my eyes, Gourmet restaurant O'Briens. And lucky me, they had a job vacancy!

So I went in, took a form and was bloody happy to find out they were hiring 15 yr olds. =) So i handed in the form, but once i left the shop, the supervisor ran out and asked me to come back in again for an interview. He wanted to interview me now since he was free so I wouldn't have to come back again for an interview. So I sat and talked to him, and suddenly, this guy goes "well, I want to hire you''.. and my jaws just, dropped open. There was NO WAY i could hide that smile. Like omg?! I just got hired for my 1st job on the spot!

So he tells me about the job. He starts off by telling me most of the workers there are also students like me doing part time jobs. Then he says its a team-based job, so my job would range from preparing sandwiches at the counter, to scrubbing the floor, to serving customers, basically everything. Where help is needed, then help shall be given. Then he tells me my pay, which is Rm4.50 an hour (that pays more than mcd, gsc, or even a&w) Thumbs up for everything. So now im just waiting for him to call me back to tell me my schedule, and when i can start working. He says within 3 days. so, *cross fingers* the sooner the better!

Thats about it for now guys. TAG!

Update =)

So PMR is long over. How do I spend time after PMR? By spending hours and hours in my online game until I loose track of time and the date (which lead to forgetting Xin Yi's birthday, sorry!)(Also why I haven't been blogging). By sms-ing alot until my phone's keypad faces some undesirable problems now. & of course just going out and chilling with my friends. So thats what im doing, in case any of you wanted to know.

So I guess i've moved on. Its not like I desperately need you or something. Im glad I met you in the 1st place. And if I ever do come across another rare person like you, then this time i'll remember to do what I need to do.
* You still put a skip in my heartbeat when I thought I saw you in the mall, and a 'sigh' after realising it wasn't you.

So thats that. For those of you who wanted an update, well this is what's going on in my life. Until then.

-dudu-

Chick from 'The School of Rock'

Hey. its 3 years after the movie has been released and i've just watched it, the school of rock. Man im outdated. Anyway, theres this actress from the movie,(see pictures above) shes like only 14 years old and shes darn hot! Her name is Rebecca Julia Brown. My new idol. No more Jessica Elba.. o.O bwahahahahha..

xD oh well. back to studyin =(.. Bye byeee

-dudu-

A pinch of kindness

Hey readers! Im just posting cause i just got back from school. Anyway, I had lunch with my dad in the usual coffeeshop near my house like we normally do. So we ordered our food and sat down. And then moments later we ordered our drinks. Then these 2 indian guys wanted to share our table so they joined us. Then our drinks came and suddenly this indian guy decides to pay for our drinks and said 'don't worry about it lah uncle' to my dad. And im like O.O

My dad was like 'O.O nono its alright!' and the fella was like ' no no don't worry about it uncle'.. and then he paid for our drinks. O.O. Now that hasn't happened before. And we don't even know them! They were like total strangers! Haha, after that we chat a lil and ate our lunch together and then we finished 1st so we thanked them once more and left.

What a surprise! Meeting a good fellow every once in a while does good to the heart. God bless, whatever his name was. He's my man, man. Off to study. cyall!

-dudu-

Substitution thoughts

Wooww, its been so long since i blogged. To tell you the truth i just totally my reason to blog. Anyway im blogging now since SOME friends asked me to. mm.. Hey guess what! my PMR is in excactly 7 days from now! Thats like, next monday! OOooooh its like a hot-flaming fireball approaching and im not feeling any heat!?! As Wan Qien pointed out, Mr dudu de procastinator. haha.. i tell you, im gonna pay a price for my procastination. =/ why am i sooo lazy??

Anyway, here are some pretty dang sweet sentences.

I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy?

I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Oh, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

Reaching out touching you
Leaving all the worries behind
Marry me
Let me live with you
Nothing's wrong and love is right

Haha well thats it for now. Until then. Wish me luck for my PMR! I'll see YOU when its OVER!!
-dudu-

Silence is a scary sound

1 more month to real PMR exams.. I've had more than enough time to think about the whole year, and its crazy events that has unfolded.. Its been, 5 months, since that special, special memory.. and now, 1 month before my PMR it comes back. Have i really forgotten you? I miss you. No, i miss my memories of you. I don't know what to think..

-dudu-

Ahh. Some pictures for your viewing pleasure

heyy guys! my mom went to australia this morning to visit my sister. So i'll be staying with my dad for about 1 week. hhaha. just us guys. =D . i was supposed to wake up this morning to see my mom off at abt 6am. but i only remember waking up at 6, seeing the light reflection underneath my door, and then everything after that was black. =( i slept damn late last night ok! slept at 5! and apparently, according to my dad, she woke up at 5. so darn, should have stayed up abit more to see her off. so i didnt say bye to her. haha.. but she wrote a note for me and stuck it on the computer screen (knowing thats where i'd go and i'd never miss it) i thought it was a rather sweet note from her..

*theres a correction at the line before no.1. the sentence -Pls get rid of babits (should be corrected to bad habbits) while i am away.

Haha.. I sent her an sms after that. Hmm, and then i reformatted my PC again today. was working on it for hours!! started at 10, and now i've just done installing some programs so im blogging. so its roughly, 8 hours??? haha. then while the program was installing i decided to take a picture of my always-halfnaked-dad while he was watching tv. He was kind enough to look my way and smile ^^


haha well thats about it for now. i dunno what else to blog about. so see ya guys later! enjoy!

-dudu-

*Sniff*

Aahh.. I got gaught up wid de Flu bugg.. Itz been a longg dime zinze i god dad. dis morning my lefd nose was blocked. Den in de evening it switched zidez. Now my ride nose is blogged T_T. my head feels heavier Doo! And i have more exams after de holidays.. Shid man.. Have do ged better soon..

=) Dudu

Public Reminder

Just watched a movie today, called 'Click'. Have you guys watched it yet? I thought it was a rather good film. The show reminds us much about what we have, or so at least it reminded ME of what I have. It reminded us that life has its aim, and its objective, and we shouldnt stray too far from it. I notice many adults work very hard, so hard that they barely spend any time with their family at all. When asked why, they say they want to make as much money as possible so their family can live a good life. Well, I am no adult, and I have no honest view in this, though right now, if i was placed in my fathers position, i would choose family over job, But as time goes on, and when i finally Do get the choice, im sure the choice would be difficult - as many other fathers have chosen Job over Family. Lets just all remind ourselves once in a while that, family is important. I love my dad, he was always there for me even though he had a tough time in work. Special thanks to Dad for everything all this while.

-dudu-

=D

At times life can be just cruel, so cruel that it makes you turn your back on life.
At times life can be just nice, so nice that you forgot to thank life.
Life is fair, so go ahead and piss on life - or enjoy life; however life treats you.
Just don't forget to thank life for being with you.
Remember, its life who stuck with you, not how life treated you.
Be grateful you have life than nothing at all.

Im feeling very happy now.
Why? I have my reasons.
Thank you, life for this happy moment.
Oops - Thank you life for all the happy moments you've given me.
When you treat me bad i swear i'll piss and shit on you;
but I know you know we're still good friends, life.

-dudu-

Lookin back through the days..

"Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.
Remember when some one annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown.
But it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap him upside the face. "

Its been far too long since i've updated here in my blog. Haha very sorry for the superbly long delay. Been going thru alot lately, well mostly good things =) Actually I have plenty of things to blog about but theres just so many that i just got too lazy to post any of them, hence the long break. It sort of forms a chain reaction, you know?

Anyway, looking back through the days, it has just come to my attention that its already passed the half year mark and over shot 2 months, Im in the middle of my PMR trials and my actual PMR exam is in about a months time, and ... well so many things has happened! An entire year is about to pass. Actually, thinking about the entire year, this whole 8 months of 2006 has been a very eventful one. So much has changed since these 8 months, and I think, overall, things changed for the better.

Lets see, in the past 8 months of year 2006, I grasped and learnt <--THIS MUCH--> about love and relationships (which is alot, mind you), I learnt the lesson of taking up too many responsibilities and doing a poor job in everything, the hard way, im afraid =(, I've tasted the wonderful sensation of forgiveness and I finally discovered a piece more about myself. Wow, look at all that stuff, just for a small piece about myself. & I will continue to fill in the pieces as I venture on through the rest of 2006.

Well thats about it, I hope I will pull myself to blog more in the near future. Just check once in a while to see if I update. Need to get on a roll on updates here mates. Sorry about the inactivity. Good luck to everyone and god bless!

-dudu-

Sharon's farewell =(

Sharon Lee is leaving Malaysia soon.. =( Just had a farewell party for her yesterday. We were there at 7pm and started arranging candles.. Turned out to be like this..

(it says: 'FORGET US NOT S'RON') haha, we had to spell her name as '' s'ron '' because we ran outa candles =P

Then we called her to the park. And when she came she was just like:haha.. there there sharon ^^

and then we were just taking photo's and playin around before walkin to mcd to have our dinner. haha.. more pics are with sharon so will post them another day.. until then~ we'll miss you sharon!

-dudu-

Because of you

So many things have changed because of you. I've become a different person, from who I used to be. Perhaps not to the eyes of many, but to a few. I've re-entered the world of blogging. I even tried out poetry. I behave differently in school. I wanted to become the cheerful me again, and i put in effort into that. i don't know how much i've suceeded in that, though. And all that, you could say, indirectly, was for you, was because of you. I can't say it was a good thing; cant say it was bad either. because of you i've learnt and felt much. These 2 months have thought me a worthy lesson. And that, i suppose, is a good thing.

I lost you as a friend once. I have lost a friend that meant much to me before. It really stings. Then I had you back as a friend again. And then suddenly its like you want to avoid me. Its like you don't even wanna know me anymore. What did i do? - whatever. you made your wish. congrats; so i heard you're leaving.

This probably means nothing to you don't it? well then you wouldnt care even if i posted this. you know who you are. im not angry. im not pissed. im just sorry.

-dudu-

End of a long weekend

aah, finally carnival day is over. What a tiring weekend. and its coming to an end already. now i have my school gerak-gempo tests coming up for the form 3s. fugg that man.. oh .. just watched pirates of the caribbean 2 again today for the 2nd time. haha. the 1st thing that made me laugh in the movie was the subtitles at the beginning of the show. 'Lanun-lanun lautan caribbean: kotak lelaki mati'. lol. damn. its interesting how they make such a nice sentence go so bad.

well there isnt much to blog about i spose. im way too tired. time to go back to school again to prepare for my trials. =/. until then. adios!

-dudu-

Worked up & Worn down

This weekend is going to get me pumped with adrenaline and crawling like slime. I have a pretty tight schedule coming up. Lets see,
Friday > In school till 5.30 to set up my game. tired. then at 12.40am, catching a movie with my sister and bro-in-law. expected to end at abt 3am. Wow, not much sleep left ahead.
Saturday > Heading to school at 9am to set up more of my game. staying there till 5. Then going to play football. then continueing for an uncle's birthday dinner. zzzzzzzzzzzz- STOP
Sunday > aarghh. waking up at 5. have to be in school by 6. nooo, i want my zzzz. Carnival day today. So expected to get worn out just like everyone else. Once this is over, aahh, then i can have my zzz. No school on monday.

Ever experienced that mood where ure blood is rushed and pumped to move, but ure body simply isn't? At 1st ure like all up, high and jumpy. and then nobody reacts to your mood. then you just gear all de way down to 0. and eventually u hit reverse and fall on ure back. face all black n moody. ppl wuld thing u're goin thru some PMS or somethin.

Pmr trials are in less than a month? omgwtfbbq? puurda pundek. now i gotta start opening text books.. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.. maths, history.. fugg you man...

Ok, at 1st i was all pumped up to post this. Now im geared to 0. going to hit reverse soon and fall asleep before finally waking up an hour later to head 2 de cinema. Good thing is i wont be having any dreams tonight. goin 2 hit the bed. nite guys.

* and as how de ladies in school say goodbye : muahs muahs. iLu *

-this is so not me, pardon my writing. i just need to move my fingers on somethin-
-dudu-

Carnival Day

Aaarrrhhh, Carnival Day is comin up. F*cking school is trying to make us sell tickets and do a hell lotta shit for the school. Were like making stalls and all for carnival day and we ain't gettin our model back. So basically were just spendin n spendin for our dearly un-beloved school. Oh and by the way, No Mr. Wong, you're 'not' forcing us to sell the tickets. Just so you know, your daily morning announcements just pisses me off more and more each day.

Supposed to set up my water-fight stall. Had to get out of class for a few periods today to do work for THE SCHOOL. Unfortunately there are some real idiot teachers in school who are so mighty protective over their pride that they wouldn't believe me when I told them what I needed to do to get out. I even took the time to explain my situation to her so that I can get out and finish the job. But noooo, apparently I was rude to her (for explaining i suppose) and im lying about the entire situation (omgwtfbbq retard?) Alright then, the next time I need to get out of class, i'll just make you a cup of tea, keep things short and just ask if I can get out of class. That way I wouldn't be rude and I wouldn't be lying now would I? That throws my chances of getting out too.

As we grow older- the world becomes uglier and uglier. I remember when i was in primary school. I used to look up at teachers with utmost respect and go WOW. You're a teacher, you're real smart, i'd totally listen to you. But as we grow and develop mentally, we begin to see your inner stupidity. Until it comes to a point where, shit, i see that you know NOTHING at all. You're just an idiot that didn't do too well in school and took up a teaching degree and now you're passing on your dumbness to us. Lookin at this in the long run, Malaysians will continue to grow stupider and stupider as generations pass. Because the stupid ones become teachers.

Good luck to my dear cousin, Larry for his upcoming job interview in Singapore Airlines. You're always my no.1 cousin man. Now go show them singaporeans what you're made of and kick some serious ass.

Just an update to keep the live wire running
-dudu-

Italy wins the worldcup! (nooo!)

Italy won the worldcup by a 1 goal penalty difference! noooooooooooooooooo! And Zidane got red carded! (that was a brilliant headbutt to his chest tho) Ahhhh, crap. Now we have to wait another 4 years again. Imma hit the bed, night~

-dudu-
p/s : i got the message. i feel sorry u cant tell me ureself.

Yesterday...

So Lynn's party was last night. Was at 1u from 10+ in the morning and then watched a movie with Henry, Lynn, Cindy and Zoey. Den sambung-ed to Lynn's house at abt 4 something. Helped to set bbq fire with henry n david while getting splashed with water & shandy & coke. =.='. The party was quite alright. All in celebration for Lynn's 13th birthday! Though it hasnt arrived yet so im not gonna wish her.

Oh oh, i got her a soft-toy turtle. Its like so round n squishy. hehehe. Shared present from Me n David. =D

Then after that i was just exhausted. Wanted to stay up to watch the Germany vs. Portugal 3rd place game but i fell asleep 1/2 hour into the game. Slept allll de way till 12. Which leaves me here right now. blogging!

Hrmz, my trials are in a months time, soo its time for me to push things to the side abit and endure a pain-suffering-torturing 3 months preparation for my damned PMR. Can't wait till everything is over, i'll go crazy when it ends. =) Don't worry i'll still post. Cya'll around!

-dudu-

A Dream Of You

Feelings of loneliness vanish,
No more - I set them free,
To see your smile tonight,
Whole again - thats what i'll be.

As I look upon your eyes,
Memories of that day appear,
I've longed for a day so similar,
Now it stands before me so clear.

As I listen to your voice,
I wonder if this is real,
My heart so free from demise,
Is this love that I yield?

But my dreams drift to an end,
Now its you thats sailing free,
As I shed a tear into the sea,
Lonely again - thats all i'll be.

-Dudu-

Originially hand-written on Thursday, 29/06/2006 11.50am
Edited and posted on Monday, 03/07/2006 8.28pm

Comments on poetry

Hey there readers, decided to try some poetry. It was actually a tip from Henry actually. He sorta gave me the idea to try out poetry and so I did! Im very very new at it, so any comments or whatsoever that you guys have, please post them in! I want to be inspired to write more. Thank you!

-dudu-

Feelings At Hand

The pain there is,
Is like toxic in the seas,
No harmony, no peace,
Only pain and suffering exists.

A feeling like no other,
Is the feeling of love I feel,
As not love it is for one another,
But love so empty and unreal.

To change is one that needs trust,
A trust I need from my heart,
A change in self I must,
For a promise is kept at heart.

Life lives with sorrow,
As regret does with pain,
Come it will for every tomorrow,
And accept it i shall in vain.

-dudu-

My Heart Contained

Feelings inside me;
That never seem to go away,
They never seem to leave me,
As they slowly burn my heart away.

Pain, love, sorrow,
They are strangers to me - no more,
Feelings that will come again tomorrow,
As they continue to burn forever-more.

-dudu-

Back from camp

Hey there readers. Im back from camp!! hahaha. Camp was pretty darn tiring. On the last day I helped Pn. Suzina up the hill. Aiyuuh, the poor teacher, ate too much nasi lemak in the morning. Good thing is her 3 kids made it up just fine and she did too! She had to take a M.C today from school. haha. Besides that everything else from camp was great.

Hmmm, back to school now. Blegh. but IN A WAY, im glad to be back in school. Nothing much to blog about yet. Still pretty darn tired. will post summore when im feelin better. until then, toodllesss

-dudu-

Gone For Camp

Hey readers, im going for a camp on Friday and will be back on Sunday. Damn it im missing the France vs Togo match. I really pray France wins this one. Okay, need to do a final check before headin off to sleep. Cya guys back on sunday. Bye!

-dudu-

England 2 - 2 Sweden

Great start from England from the 1st half. J. Cole was bulldozing Sweden's right wing defence and scoring England's 1st goal against Sweden. England was playing it all out on the 1st half and they really showed good play. On the 2nd half, however, England geared down (oh what the hell, as usual) and allowed Sweden to make a come back. 1- 1. Gerrard nailed another one for England after the 80 min. line giving England another lead. 2-1. Victory for England was denied when Sweden made another come back nearing the 90 min. line ending the score at 2-2. Can't say im happy, can't say im dissapointed as well. England could have showed a better game but at least both teams made it to the final 16. Cheers to England and Sweden for giving a good game.

-dudu-

France vs. Korea

1-1 was the score that night on the 19th June 2006. Henry scored an early goal in the 9th minute, and after that it was a slow game and hardly a push for France. Then France paid dearly in the late second half when Park Jisung knocked in a goal for Korea, leaving the end score at 1-1. Besides that, France's captain Zinadine Zidane has been booked a yellow card and will miss their next game with Togo.

A saddening 2nd game for France in my opinion. I love Zidane, and I like France because of Zidane and Henry. Indeed a saddening game. Don't misunderstand tho, im clearly still an England supporter. =D. Good luck to France. Cheers to Korea for putting up a good game against France.

-dudu-

Destiny

Destiny affects our lives deeper than you know it. Everyday, whatever we do, its destiny. You can say that you could even let destiny control your life. Honestly, if we just live our lives the way we are, we are letting destiny control it. You can even say that everything you did was destined.. but, what if you could control destiny? You can, as a matter of fact. Destiny is in your hands, everyday, every minute, every second. Wow, now would you just take a closer look at what you're holding. Destiny with a capital D. Now isn't that a big thing in your palm..

Everything was destined to happen, if you look at it that way. You will see that life becomes very much simpler. Every slip you make and every fall you take, its destiny. It was meant to happen to you, and everything that happened, it just makes you - you. You are who you are because of what happened. Because destiny was in your hands, and you did what you did with those hands. Or was it because your hands was Destined to do those things? Whichever way you look at it, its 2 totally different outcomes.

a) now if you think that YOU control destiny, then every fall you take and every step you make means twice as much as it normally would. Your life is a mess.
b) if you think destiny controls you, then you're pretty much the sit-back kinda person, who doesn't leave much decision making to yourself. Your life is a breeze.

They're pretty close, how you look at it, i meant. But the outcomes are totally the opposite of one another. Or so at least thats how i look at it. Its good to be in control of your life, and sometimes its also good to let life take control of you. My comment? - i look at it both ways. when i make mistakes and do stupid things, i would say that destiny lead me to do those things, and it'll just shape me to be a better person when i learn from it. But when i see oppurtunities and try to grasp them to create achievements, i look at it as Destiny is in my control.

Destiny forgives and forgets, and Destiny can also strike more than twice in the same spot. Thing here is, when Destiny DOES come back, what are you going to do?

-dudu-

Edited one time(s) in total

Dreams, again...

Woke up from another dream of you. This time i didn't wake up on my own. The dream jolted me up. hmm, mood is totally different now.. i wonder when this would end.. it slaps me in the face every now and then.. giving me sleepy eyes and gloomy mornings. Kinda reminded me of the feeling we all have when we feel 'at home', when we feel comfortable, warm, and cozy. Its not how warm the lights are, or how soft the blankets are. Its when your heart feels like it belongs somewhere. Its when you're with the one you love. You jus feel, secured and comfortable. Like there isnt a need to worry for anything. You're not panicking, but ure not calm either. but ure heart beats faster and slower at the same time. You're at peace. Thats the feeling of being in love.. Well, im certainly in love alright..

sighs.. ok.. im heading back to bed.. cyall..

-dudu-

Thoughts of yesterday and today

First things first, the FIFA 2006 World Cup has kicked off for some time now. Im a supporter of the England team and just yesterday they beat Trinidad & Tobago 2-0 many thanks to Liverpool's Peter Crouch and Steven Gerrard. Stayed up till 2 last night with my England jersey on & eating my bowl of Maggi Asam Laksa. =D Lynn also stayed up to watch the game. This picture here is my England jersey that my aunt gave me from London. Love it so much. Matches my shoes too. =D

Alright, besides football, my life has been pretty much been what its been. PMR trials are in about 2 months time with the actual PMR exams on the following month. I should be gearing up with my studies now but sadly im not. Too lazy to begin anything. Need to start somewhere... like, perhaps now. =D hmm.. I guess this is it. Oh yeah, i thought i'd gotten over this girl, but its been quite a long time now, and she's still the only one in my head. Getting over somebody ain't easy at all. You can try to NOT think of her, but she comes right back at ya in your dreams. Caught in a pricky, pricky situation. lol.

-dudu-

Changes, changes, changes...

Hey readers!! Did some MAJOR changes to my blog. Threw in a whole new layout, gave it a whole new name, and guess what?!?! Clocks and countdowns!!! Haha, i decided to do this at like 12Am midnight on a wednesday night. No idea why. Henry's blog gave me some motivation. Hmm, new name because I thought the old one was getting pretty old, andd, i just thought that i should be revealing more about myself each time i post. So that explains the new name. Biggest addon here would be the clocks and countdowns. Gave it a small section to put birthdates of my closest friends that i have. Hope you guys like it. Now gooooo and tag at my board! tell me what you think!

-dudu-

Darn tag..

Okay, i've been tagged by cindy. Now im just gonna get over with this so i dont have to do it in the future.

i dont have anyone to tag.

the gender of my perfect lover is a girl.

8 things about my lover:

1. She cannot smoke.
2. She cannot do drugs.
3. She cannot have more than 1 tatoo on her body.
4. Her hair cannot be dyed.
5. She cannot be a saddist.
6. If she plays football, i will push everything else aside and marry her.
7. If she doesn't play football, then ping pong seconds.
8. It doesn't matter if she doesn't play any sports at all, but sports is a pluspoint.

-dudu-

A dream come true

Have you ever had a dream come true? Its when you dream of something, and one day it actually happens. I had a dream come true before, and of course, it was a good dream. Nothing special, but nothing horrible happened. I had been dreaming about it. And then it was just recently, before the term break that I found myself lost and my heart was 99% consumed by this girl, just like in my dreams. She's beautiful, thats all i will say.

Nothing special really happened, or at least, not to the odinary viewer's eye. Stealing quick glances and staring once in a while at another person, nothing special at all. But i think otherwise though. It was like iced coke on a hot day. And there was nothing more i wanted than that. Just being able to stare at her, and even talk to her, just like how i saw it in my dreams, that was just perfect. Just perfect. Call me crazy. But you can't really blame a person for living a day of his dreams.

I have no idea why i posted this, but i just really felt like giving you a piece of what i think.
-edited from a previous post. Changed everything.

-dudu-

Grasping your memories, and moving ahead

We all have bad memories. Memories that hurt so much that they're enough to put you down whenever you think of it. Memories like these can hold you back. Well, they certainly held me back. I've been stuck in a hole for so long now. And it doesn't get any better if you continue to whine about it everyday. Your hole just gets deeper... & deeper... & deeper. Until nobody knows you exist anymore. They know you as a saddist. One that hardly becomes cheerful.

Im glad i've gotten out of that hole. Now i smile much more frequently. No hidden sad feelings inside. That was how i used to be. Im Me again. Sure, those memories are still inside. When i think of it, indeed it still hurts - but never consumes me anymore. Im moving onward. Keeping memories with me to remind me not to allow myself to get into a hole again.

Nonetheless, theres a song in my head, that i can't seem to get out. The words seem to match perfectly to what my thoughts describe. So i'll let it out here, so i don't have to stock it in my head. And hopefully i'll let it go, and let my blog take the heat xD.
Ps ; the words in bold are the ones that mean the most to me

Celine Dion - To Love You More

Take me back in the arms I love
Need me like you did before
Touch me once again
And remember when
There was no one that you wanted more

Don't go you know you will break my heart
She won't love you like I will
I'm the one who'll stay
When she walks away
And you know I'll be standing here still

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

See me as if you never knew
Hold me so you can't let go
Just believe in me
I will make you see
All the things that your heart needs to know

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

And some way all the love that we had can be saved
Whatever it takes we'll find a way

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

-dudu-

Pieces During Vacation

Hey guys, im back from my short trip. We actually took a drive up to Pahang, den to Terengganu. There i stayed 1 night at Rantau Abang. Stayed right on the beach itself. The beach was nothin but beautiful. Though it reminded me of painful things. It reminded me of Peace - like how peaceful one's life can be. It reminded me about Friendship - like how easy it is to find friends and lose them, easier. It also reminded me about how life is about give and take - like the waves in the beach, they come and they go. I suppose im still abit shaken after I lost a good friend. But like the waves, they come and they go, and I can only hope time will heal things.

On the 2nd day we headed up north to Kelantan. There really isn't much there. We took a wrong turn and went up the wrong road where i saw this roadsign. Lmao. Talk about weird names to name your village. There was really nothing in Kota Bharu. Its an islamic state. Found a hotel to stay in. Ate dinner, walked around abit and then fell asleep. Drove home the very next morning.


We found ourselves in a 10 hour drive along the East-West highway from Jeli to Gerik, then continuing down the Plus highway to KL. Heres a picture of the Temenggor Lake - Man made dam along the highway. Also saw 'elephant crossing roadsigns'. Too bad we didn't see any of those big guys.


Overall, holiday was boring. But it was worth the experience. Getting to see my parents together like that, thats what matters most. I know they won't be here forever, so gotta spend as much time as possible now with them.

Now i can say i've been to more places in my own country. It was nice to get out of the messy life for a while. But nonetheless you can never run away from a mess forever. And eventually you'd have to come back to face them, like now. Its good to be back though. Go ahead and read this post and then drop a few words over at my chat-box aightt? Need to keep it alive and going. Thanks. Will post again.

-dudu-

Going for a family vacation

Hey there guys, to whoever thats reading, tho i doubt theres any, im going to Terengganu/Kelantan on Friday. Wont be back till Sunday. So until then you guys can reach me at my HP. Will be bored on the highway, do talk to me should you feel bored at any given time. Well, will update when i get back. Until then, Toodles..

-dudu-

The haunt of my dreams

I used to have this friend. I would be there for her when things go wrong. Or tell her that everything will be OK, and that i'll take care of everything for her. She's the one i look forward to meeting everyday. She and I would have great conversations. Ones that are just sweet, bitter when u try to remember them. She was one heckova friend, for whatever i did for her, she did back for me. She just fit in when I needed a friend badly, and thats probably why I was so... consumed.. I can't really express my thanks for all she's done. The only way i could thank her is by continueing to be there for her, you know, to be her friend - but shit happened.

Now i'll never get to say thanks, or sorry, or even hello and a goodbye. I'll never get to tell her the things i hid from her, when she was just trying to get me to tell her. Thats the one thing I ever regretted, not doing what I was supposed to do. And thats probably the one thing i'll never learn - or will i? I've been slipping by that same mistake for so long now, and its the same one all the time. How long does it take to knock myself in my stupid head?

I need to learn from my mistakes. I suppose, we all have our regrets. Mistakes that we did. Things we just wished we didn't do. Moments when we say 'now why did i do that for?'. But there ain't a thing we can do to correct the present. We can just search back in our past, find ourselves there, and then fix it so that we continue to be better people in the future. Well, its hard. No one said it would be easy, and i just wish i had a friend to guide me along the way. The friend i lost.

But now i see, that if i don't do anything about it soon, i'll be losing all my friends. And soon i'll be all alone. Its time to get up. Friend or without friend.

One Honest Mistake

Really now, all you ever need is to make one honest mistake in life, and your whole life changes. Of course, there is forgiveness, and people forgive you. And then there is the stupid head of yours that continues to make mistakes. And you're so blind, you don't notice it. You keep making the same mistakes.

One day however, you realise your mistakes. So you try to control them. 'OK, the next time i do this, i WON'T make the same mistake', and so you try. And you manage to hang on much longer before you make the same mistake again. But a person should never give up when knocked down on his knees. 'So i'll try again, and i'll try not to make the same mistake'. And you try, and try and try, and each time you do, you get further and further to NOT making the mistake.

One day, it worked. You didn't make that mistake. You suceeded. But what does the world look at you now? No, they don't say 'congrats!' or 'Good job on all the tries you made, it finnaly worked'. No, your whole life has changed. Nobody believes you no more. Even though you tried so hard, it don't matter any longer. Instead they take things wrongly. Now you are hated. Someone that people want to avoid.

At this point, you don't know what to do. You can't tell anybody, what for? For fucks? Nobody believes you. My friends, if any of you feel the same way as i do, pitch in and sit in the same boat.

-From a depressed mind at hand-
-dudu-

The music that best describes my mood is..

Different moods in different situations make you want to listen to different kinds of music. Ever heard of Michael Bolton - Only A Woman Like You? Its brilliant, somethin i would listen to right now..

It's beautiful, your honesty
You cry when you need to
say what you feel
You're never afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve
You're always so open with me

It's in your voice, I can hear it
The sound of a woman in love

Only a woman can love you so much
Give you her life and give you her trust
Not any woman can do what you do
Only a woman like you

It's magical, your love for me
It's more than a man could ever receive
I'm just a man and it's hard to believe
A woman like you could love me

It' in your eyes, I can see it
The look of a woman in love

Only a woman can love you so much
Give you her life and give you her trust
Not any woman can do what you do
Only a woman like you

If only I could find the words to say
But I just can't, so forgive me
Cause you took the words away
You answered every prayer I always prayed

It's in your touch, I can feel it
The feeling of a woman in love

Only a woman can love you so much
Give you her life and give you her trust
Not any woman can do what you do
Only a woman like you

Only a woman can love you so much
Give you her life and give you her trust
Not any woman can do what you do
Only a woman like you

-dudu-

Torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn

-natalie imbruglia - torn-

Haven't been posting for a heckova long time, and looking at how things are going, it might take quite some time more before my next post. None of the situations i am in are inspiring me to write anything. Sorry to my regular readers. I'll update when things get better. Until then, take care o' yourselves. God bless.

-dudu-

The Freedom Of A Bird

Today, when i was in my dad's car on the way back from school, i saw a bird in the sky. I was bored, so my eyes followed the bird, just to see where it would go. Then i realised, its impossible to track a bird. It flies freely wherever it wants to. It does whatever it wants to. There isn't anything holding that thing back. The sky is the limit for what it can do. Damn, don't you just wish you could escape this crazy life and go free?

I mean, imagine if you were a bird. Your life would be so simple. Theoratically, your job is to 1) eat to survive. 2) find a partner to nest with. 3) build a nest. 4) fly around. You wouldn't have to go to school, or study, or do homework. Birds dont need education to survive. Even humans, at one point, didn't need education to survive.

Lets take the word survive. The defination of surive would be : to live. What do you need to live? Generally, when the human race began, all you needed to live was food, water, and air. Now, in the year 2006, you need to study at least 15 years to obtain a certificate of education to get a job SO that you can BUY food, water and air. While studying that 15 years, you live under the care of your parents, which, aren't perfect, causes all sorts of problems. Then you get a good job that pays you 10,000 bucks a month. Now you work long into the night. You ain't got time for your lover, nor your family. Hell you ain't even got time to find for food, water and air. Now compare that with the life of a bird. The survival of a bird hasn't really changed yet. They've been doing the same thing since a long time ago, well, generally thinking.

Ok, so enough about all that. My point is, humans should live their life to the fullest. We should just do what we want to do. Don't let anything hold you back. If i had to choose between something you WANT to do and something you HAVE to do. I'd do what i wanna do. Imagine if you died next week. Just, think about that. Now think about your life that you lived so far. Was it well worth it? Anything can happen anytime, you'll never know when a crazy truck driver might ram into your car one day. And thats it, you don't get to taste the fine taste of food, you don't get to spend no more time with your lover, you don't get to do anything at all, not even sit to talk to a friend or watch tv.

So if you want to eat pork, eat. Even if you die from high blood pressure one day, at least u died eating yummy pork. If you love this person but can't express your feelings, then spend as much time with him/her as possible. Friends help you through your day, everyday, without even noticing it. Have you thought about them? Live your life like a bird, free with as little restrictions as possible. Its up to you on how you live your life.

Yet another piece of my mind,
-dudu-

My Mind Is Empty

There are times where the human brain has nothing to think about. Its just idle. You generate no ideas. You try hard to think, but all that comes up are just rubbish and nonsense. This is a situation i am experiencing right now. And as my blog title reads : Pieces of My Mind, I can't really blog, because i have nothing on my mind. Nonetheless, i have to update.

I find this moment very very stressful. It's really annoying. Have you ever experienced a moment where you can't think at all during an examination? Its like you've studied for this huge test, and when you sit for it, you see this familiar question, you know you've read that before, but it just ain't comin up. Your brain just refuses to lock on gear and start thinking.

This 'illness' lasts temporarilly, however. So no permanent harm. I think it comes from stress. When i get stressed about something, my mind just shuts off. It also happens when i get an adrenaline rush, like when im really really pissed. You can't think of anything 'good'. (well in the sense you can only think of punching the idiot that pissed you off)

I think that humans like to blame one another. Its our nature. Have you ever been in a tense situation before where you want to get out of it so badly, you'd just go, 'It wasn't me, it was him, thats it, screw him, not me'. Sounds familiar eh? Well think about the person who's eating the blame. Lately i've been blamed for a hell lot of shit. And honestly, it isn't my fault. And hey, i don't want to point the blame back at anybody else, i know how it feels to be blamed, (whether or not it was something you did or did not do) BUT WHY?!?!?!

Putting the blame on someone is just human nature. Heck even i do it without me noticing it sometimes. You get a nice feeling after you blamed someone. Its like you just got a load of trouble off your shoulders. Pity the person that took the blame though. I bet he's in a whole lot of shit now.
What do you think?

Im just telling you whats on my mind. Im not in the right condition to post. Lately i've had troubling things in my mind. Will post when things get better for me. Until then, that's whats up in my mind.

-dudu-

We Do What Were Told

When would we ever stop doing what were told? When would people stop telling us what to do? Is that all there is to life? Everyday, we do as we're told. Like dogs, "Roll over and sit". In school, teacher says do maths, we do maths. Teacher says bring books, we bring books. Even at home. Mother says iron your clothes, we iron our clothes. Mother says mop the floor, we mop the floor. Honestly, the quality of life has dropped by a drastic amount since humans became 'smart'. Don't you think so?

This way of life has been adapted for such a long time now. Ever since humans learned how to rule, they have been doing what they're told. So there's no way we could ever change that. Though sometimes its interesting to think what life would be if it wasn't doing what we're told all day. But what about moments like when somebody pisses you off real bad. You feel like punching his liver out of him. But you're held back. Why? Because we're told not to do so, by rules, or a command from the brain, telling you the consiquences of doing such an act. What about when you really want to talk to this person for a very long time. You admire that person so much, and you just want to talk to that person. But you can't. Theres something holding you back again, your brain. Everyday, we do as we're told. But why?

Isn't there freedom in life anymore? There are so many restrictions in life. We can't do what we really want to do, because we feel restricted. When humans were dumb, they didn't feel shy to talk to somebody. Only when we start thinking, 'whats she going to say?', 'what would he think?', 'would i screw everything up?' then we start feeling restricted. At the end, we don't do anything. Our mind beats us everyday, and its something i regret doing. I never got a chance to know her any better. And i totally lost her. But that was a long time ago.

Now i start to think less. I don't care if people think im weird or crazy. I do what i do, because it makes me a happier person. I talk louder with more confidence. And at the end of the day, I benefit from it. I lead a better life, and i accomplish more because i dare to do more things. Thinking too much really kills. The next time you feel afraid to approach someone to ask something, don't think of what might happen. All it takes is a simple hello. And a hello could lead to a whole new conversation. And it happens, all by itself, without even thinking. And it ends nicely, with a warm goodbye. Don't regret. I already did.

Start by talking to more people. Even strangers. I like to say hello to everybody in school that i don't even know. Why? It makes me happy when i see a smile on their faces and wave a hello back to me. Its a start of a new friendship. And a friendlier community to live in. Everybody knows you, and everybody is someone you can talk to. You feel so at home, so comfortable.



Feel free to disagree.

Another piece of my mind that i thought about while i was brushing my teeth,
-dudu-

The World Is Crazy

Sometimes we all just feel down and empty inside. Sometimes we feel like theres nobody we can go to. Sometimes we just think that were all in such a big big big mess. Sometimes we just want to breakdown and cry. Sometimes we all think, the world is crazy.

We've all felt like that before. Even i have. Its depressing. You talk about it with your friends, but they can only help you that much. You still feel like theres alot that needs to be done. Like a never-ending chain of events. Soon your friends don't even care about you. Now you don't have anyone to go to. You keep your feelings inside, or you tell the ones that you hardly even know. You take a blind turn, and make mistakes you never dreamt of doing.

The whole world turns on you. Every familiar face hates you. What have you got left? - yourself. Yes, we all forget that we still have ourself. Its the one person we can always trust. Someone we can always depend on. Someone that will never leave you alone. Someone you understand. In the darkest of moments, when you feel you need someone, he/she's right there inside you. The next time you need someone to tell your biggest secret to, tell it to yourself. The next time you encounter a problem, solve it together with yourself. Its like the perfect companion - Never ditches you, never scolds you, never backstabs you. Its time to give your concience a chance to speak up. You'll never know what YOU'RE capable of.

The next time you're stuck in a problem and you're all alone, don't just sit and cry. Tell yourself you got a job to do. Plan how you're going to overcome it. Get up, and do it, because YOU CAN. Its not the end for you, you've got many many many more years to come. Everyday you spend sitting in a hole pondering over sad moments kills you. The faster you get over it, the happier you become. The best is to be 'carefree'.

A piece of my mind,
by Dudu

Chain Mails

There used to be a time where email accounts were filled with 'chain mails'. Everyone logs onto their emails, and they see 22 emails in their inbox, all beginning with the word 'FW:'. Its like a life-threatening message, asking you to send the threat on to a ridiculous amount of people. Whats even more hilarious are the threats themselves. 'If you dont send this to X amount of people, you will wake up tomorrow with a tail on your ass', '... you will find an old fisherman hanging dead by your bedroom', '... you will lose your dick', '... your mother will turn into a fat ugly ogre', etc etc. Its just 500% rubbish.

It gets worse, the citizens that inhabit this ugly earth even take the threat and send it on. I mean, come on, you believe Count Dracula is going to personally show up at your doorstep tomorrow to eat your ass? He's way much more busier than that. I mean come on guys, a threat coming through an email with such jibberish? It just pollutes your email. Thankfully it has lessened and has almost come to a stop now. I thank god for that. But it doesnt stop.....

Where does this junk appear now? In public sites, like friendster, high 5, etc etc. Now our friendster bulletin board is filled with gimmick and bullshit, and its the same shit, from the emails, now transported over to Friendster. Have you heard of the Allen Smith threat on friendster? It tells you that if you dont send the message on to other people in a short period of time, Friendster will cancel your account. Omgwtfbqq? Alright lets take this by steps.
1) Allen Smith? What sick made up name is that? What, is he the Agent from The Matrix?
2) Friendster needs YOU to send this posts to check if your friendster account is kept alive? Bullshit! Friendster obviously knows each time you login, and whatever you do on friendster is constantly monitered by Friendster. Mind you, even if 'Allen Smith' had something to say to you, he wouldnt appear in your personal account inbox. It'll be sent to your email, as an official letter from Friendster.com
3) The period of time given for you to send the letter was no longer than 1 week (i cant remember the exact period), BUT this friendster post gimmick has been on for almost a year now. Get the message?

Please keep our bulletin boards clean from rubbish. You know its plain stupidity so DON'T do it. Now you guys better send this to everyone else or Michael Jackson will personally mollest your sorry ass tomorrow.

-Dudu-

Life

Many different people have many different definations to the word 'life'. Some say its a golf course, filled with many challenges and obstacles. Some say its a story book, filled with different unique chapters of life. Others, though, say Life is totally meaningless, that Life shouldn't be something that is appreciated. Some look at Life as a torture chamber.
Does it all matter?
Everybody goes through Life, and though there are many different ways to look at Life, everyone has gone through some sorrow, some happiness, some pain, some pleasure, some love, some hate. Nowadays, its what most teenagers ever look at, isn't it? They mostly care about how Life goes in school, How they're day went, How i spent my day with my lover, How we celebrated our friends birthday, How boring class was, Which bitch stole who's boyfriend, Which asshole annoyed all the happiness in my day, so on so forth. Mostly everyone looks at Life this way, even i do.
Life, to me, is simply run by our daily activities. Whatever we do today, significantly, affects Life. Lets think of it this way, if you had a good day today, and if you were asked to judge your Life based on that one day, you would say, 'Life is good'. However if you had a bad day, and if asked to judge your life the same way, you would say , 'Life is bad'.
Our daily activities represent our life. Whether life is good or bad is up to you on how you look at your day. Sometimes, we all just need to forget about whatever that HAPPENED, and remember everything we already HAVE. Appreciate whatever you have, it saves you from a bad day, and a bad life. Smile today for a happier tomorrow. =)

Personally written by,
-Dudu-

Shifting blogs

Hey guys,

I have a blog on friendster. But i don't really like the user interface and it kinda stinks for me. So im just going to copy all my posts from there and paste them here in this new blog. Hope you guys like my writing. Please give me some feedback. Thanks!

Yours faithfully,
Dudu